Jokes for Kids – Silly giggles that’ll make the whole family crack up!

One minute they’re asking “Why did the chicken cross the road?”, the next they’re telling it to Ouma at the table while everyone pretends it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard.

Whether it’s road-trip entertainment on the way to the beach or just making bedtime a bit less serious, these clean jokes are guaranteed to get big laughs from small people. Want more grown-up groans? Check out our classic dad jokes or try the door-knocking fun in knock knock jokes – we’ve got laughs for every age! 😄

Try not to laugh at these jokes for kids:

• I wanted to teach my dog to dance, but he has two left feet.
• I'm reading an anti-gravity book, and I just can't put it down!
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
  A satisfactory!
• What do you call a fish with no eye?
  A fsh!
• I got a new pen that can write underwater.
  It can write other words, too.
• Why do giraffes have such long necks?
  Because they have smelly feet!
• What do you call a dancing cow?
  A milkshake!
• Did you hear about the king who was exactly 30 centimeters tall?
  He was a great ruler!
• What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
  A stick!
• Why did the coffee go to the police?
  To report a mugging!
• What's the difference between a "dad joke" and a "bad joke?"
  The direction of the first letter!
• I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.
• What did the beach say when the tide came in?
  Long time no sea!
• What do you call a shoe made out of a banana peel?
  A slipper!
• I have a joke about paper, but it’s tearable.
• What do you call a moose with no name?
  Anonymoose!
• Parallel lines have so much in common.
  It’s a shame they’ll never meet!
• I have a joke about a broken clock, but it’s not the right time.
• If money doesn’t grow on trees,
  then why do banks have branches?
• I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus but geometry is where I draw the line.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• What happened when the world's tongue-twister champion got arrested?
  They gave him a tough sentence!
• What does a baby computer call its father?
  Data!
• Where do pirates get their hooks?
  Second-hand stores!
• Why do dogs float in water?
  Because they are good buoys!
• I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking.
• What fruit do twins love?
  Pears!
• How do you make a robot angry?
  Keep pushing its buttons!
• Why do you have to watch what you say around the egg whites?
  They can't take a yolk!
• I have a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
• Why did an old man fall in a well?
  Because he couldn’t see that well!
• I'm reading an anti-gravity book, and I just can't put it down!
• I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
• Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
• Why are elevator jokes so good?
  They work on many levels!
• What do you call a line of dads waiting to get haircuts?
  The barberqueue!
• Do you want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
  Joke! Joke! Jooooooooooooooooke!
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
  Nacho cheese!
• What’s red and smells like blue paint?
  Red paint!
• I have a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
  Sofishticated!
• What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
  Anna One, Anna Two!
• RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.
• Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
• I can tell when you're lying just by looking at you. I can also tell when you're standing.
• Lance isn't that common a name these days, but in medieval times, kids were called lance-a-lot.
• I have a joke about the flu, but I hope you don’t get it.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
  An abdominal snowman!
• I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
• What do you call a guy floating in the ocean?
  Bob!
• What did one hat say to the other?
  You go on ahead!
• How did the barber win the race?
  He knew a shortcut!
• What kind of shoes can frogs wear?
  Open-toad sandals!
• Why does the hurricane have bad vision?
  It only has one eye!
• I have a joke about butter, but I’m not going to spread it.
• What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes?
  Get out of the way!
• How do you make a tissue dance?
  You put a little boogie in it!
• How come the Hulk doesn't lose his pants when he transforms?
  The experiment altered his jeans!
• What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?
  1Forrest1
• How does Darth Vader like his toast?
  On the dark side!
• What do you give a sick lemon?
  Lemon-Aid!
• What do you call a bear with no teeth?
  A gummy bear!
• What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
  Snow!
• I have a joke about putting in a light bulb, but I'm afraid I'll screw it up.
• Why is Peter Pan always flying?
  Because he Neverlands!
• What did the police officer say to his belly-button?
  You’re under a vest!
• Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
  It was very sweepy!
• Can anyone tell me what oblivious means,
  because I have no idea.
• I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed!
• How do you cure a fear of a speed bump?
  You slowly get over it!
• I had a quiet game of tennis today.
  There was no racket.